crumpetmarypoppinstea: twiliprincess: is it bad that i’ve watched hair tutorials for girls as future reference for when i have daughters because i want to be the kind of dad that knows how to do his daughter’s hair this is the cutest thing I have ever read omg
white dad in any movie: but son, you're throwing away your DREAM
white son in any movie: no dad, I'm throwing away ~yours~
theangelgabrieldidmyhair: The Yahoo people actually coming to look at the site they want to buy
vocodex: my mom once told me that writing your feelings down or drawing them out is very therapeutic and relaxing
whimsicalspecks: akitron: buttlarious: tumblr is boring today better go check tumblr #I literally get bored and close tumblr only to reopen tumblr
genocidercyo: clockey: you’re the window to my wall you’re the sweat that drips down my balls
dionthesocialist: Sometimes, I wish I could ban my students from saying the word “gay” unless we’re specifically talking about homosexual people. Today one kid said that the ceiling was gay. Ceiling can’t be gay. Ceiling can’t even be straight. Ceiling is ceiling. Ceiling’s sexual preference is light bulb.
fuckyoutomhiddleston: If yahoo does end up buying tumblr and shuts it down I just wanted everyone to know that you’ve all been truly wonderful people and it was an honor blogging with you all
bigstupidbaby: ugh mums are so annoying ‘clean ur room take out the trash im worried about your mental health why is there a dead guy in the living room’ ha ha yeah ok whatever mum
so-many-feels: deucebowl: If I were a magic wizard I wouldn’t harm people when they pissed me off, I’d just put these really fucked up random curses on them, like every time they saw a school bus they would shit their pants, or every time someone said the word Thursday they would pretend they were a dragon for 20 seconds. i think you would be a very good wizard.
zaymmaliks: SOMETIMES I WANNA BE A WHORE AND DO DRUGS JUST TO SHOW MY MOM HOW MUCH WORSE IT CAN BE THAN JUST LEAVING MY DIRTY SOCKS ON THE FLOOR
jamesfrancgoaway: “just wait i’m gonna get hot eventually” - me when i’m 83 years old
Me: WHEN I WAS
Me: A YOUNG BOY
Dad: oh God
Me: MY FATHER
Dad: not again
Me: TOOK ME INTO THE CITY
Dad: no I didn't
Me: TO SEE A MARCHING BAND
Dad: you're not even a boy
rapewhistled: bumrollplease: rapewhistled: *16 year old girl voice* um shut the fuck up thanks i literally say this a hundred times a day *16 year old girl voice* literally.
internetexplorers: mayameows: internetexplorers: i love how suspicious my friends get whenever im nice to them I don’t understand. Shouldn’t you always be nice to your friends?
my mother said i could be anything i wanted so i became an anxious and antisocial recluse with an internet dependence and an intolerance for natural light
colorado-wannabe: So in English class we had to draw a scene from The Great Gatsby. After the drawings were done the teacher was showing them to the class, and one drawing was a pic of Gatsby reaching towards at the green light, but in the drawing Gatsby didn’t have hands. So my teacher starts saying something like how this picture has hidden meaning and portrays the helplessness Gatsby feels,...
woah bummer for everyone not making out with me right now
phlynn: not only am i not losing my virginity i think im also gaining virginity
Parents: Don't forget to make us proud
Friends: Don't forget to socialize
Teachers: Don't forget to get A's
Strangers: Don't forget to blend in
Opposite sex: Don't forget to look good
Society: Don't forget to be perfect
Tumblr: Fuck the world, at least you haven't murdered somebody today
Tumblr: But just in case you want to get away with it, here are some tips.
corpsifiedandgross: bondoge: is shut the fuck up an acceptable answer for an algebra problem Only if you show your working
h0llo: School attendance would go up by like 300% if we had cool padded swirly chairs or bean bags instead of ugly blue chairs harder than a pornstars dick
jimdoesntcarrey: salacl: jimdoesntcarrey: lucille-is-a-vampire-bat: does any1 remember the replacements i do what happened to this show!!!??? it was… replaced
Sex is so weird like hey I love you let me stick my hard extra limb into your tiny hole and then slam it into you repeatedly because I love you
tvspecial: when someone you like describes their type and it’s obviously not you
familyfriendlyurl: coolscar: familyfriendlyurl: why do all superheroes have their names end with man. batman. superman. wonder woman. captain americaman. hulkman. black widowman. the flashman wow, i dont even remember these guys, but just more proof, reblogging so everybody can see this
kaworuniggiesa: pkmntrainer-wally: kaworuniggiesa: are boys real no
vaspim: i love josh peck so much.